Monday, April 18, 2011

Things You Can't Learn From a Book (This may get graphic)


A few nights ago I headed back home to Toronto to see my girlfriends. They were throwing me a baby shower and it was so good to catch up. It's amazing how in just a few years many of us have become wives and mothers. It seems like just yesterday we were all hanging out on out high school spare at the local Chinese restaurant buying illegal Marlboro and complaining about calculus. My oh my how have times changed. Instead, now our conversations turned to child birth and child rearing (after all this was a baby shower) and all the ugly, not so lovely things people don't usually like to talk about when discussing the miracle of pregnancy and child birth. Obviously, I'm gonna talk about some of these things here. These are just some things I found interesting (yet scary). Things baby books just don't tell you, but maybe they should.

1. You should line your bed in case your water breaks while you sleep.

I always thought that when your water breaks you already felt contractions, I didn't know this was not always the case. Plus, I figured most first time pregnancies were usually late and often had to be induced. Imagine my shock to know that 2 of the 4 mothers at my shower were early AND their water broke while sleeping.

I also didn't know that if your water does break while in bed your mattress is toast, you can't get that stuff out. So mental note so you can save yourself a new mattress line the thing with some sort of plastic (shower liner) under your sheet; and a towel wouldn't hurt either.

2. You will grow more body hair in places that have a lot of friction.

During these 3 trimesters I wont lie, I've gotten hairier. Now I learn that it;s not over? Places like your belly are gonna get worse? How fantastic! (insert sarcasm)

3. Breast milk does not just come out of the nipple.

Apparently breast milk will come out of the Areola (area around the nipple) as well. Thats why it's important for baby to latch on properly. My friend says "when you pump it's like a sprinkler of milk" (wow, thats graphic and freaky) Oh, did I mention that blocked milk ducts can be super painful too? the beauty of becoming a human cow.

4. You may very well poop on your baby.

Thats right people, I went there. There is a chance you may poo on your baby. Your pushing him/her out and as you do that you may push out something else too. Welcome to the world baby!

5. Depends are not just for old people with weak bladders.

While recovering in the hospital use Depends to help with bleeding more so then a regular pad. It's cleaner will be much more comfortable. Yes, I stood in line with my pack of Depends already; so weird and embarrassing at the same time.

6. Olive oil, not just for salads.

Apparently, midwives commonly use olive oil to massage the perineum, this may help prevent tearing and the need for a Episiotomy. I say if you have a midwife willing to help you out and save you the pain of tearing or being cut, do it! Not sure if the hospital would do that for me.

At the end of the night I left my shower feeling better educated then I did walking in. These were words of wisdom from solders who experienced things first hand, they had children and experienced on their side, who was I to argue. I just took the info as gospel and filed it away in my mommy to be brain bank.

I was happy to see old friends and family and happy to have so many people support me in this new adventure, I felt like people were there to help me as much as they could. I did however feel sorry for another friend of mine, who after hearing all these things about pregnancy, is now convinced she wants to adopt rather then go through all olive oil rubbing, Depends wearing, body hair growing baby pooing pains of child birth. We'll see.

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