Fear Factor

I hit my 32 week mark yesterday, and I will say this….”HOLY SHIT!” I cannot believe I have 8 weeks to go before my due date. These past 7 months have flown by and I have really loved being pregnant. Aside from the blood sugar tests and the aches and pains I’ve relished this experience and really hope I can do it again in the future. Mind you I have yet to actually give birth with will may have me crying foul and make me swear I’d never do it again. But for now, I am loving it. Until the reality sets in and the true magnitude of what will happen in the coming weeks hits me. DH and I are having a baby! OMG! A little person will be coming out of my body and our whole lives are about to change. We’ll be swimming in uncharted waters with a million questions and no doubt a few minor breakdowns on my part.

I am at a point where I have flash thoughts of fear. So many questions run through my mind:

I have to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a plum?

I’ve never been a pansy when it cames to pain, I’ve usually pushed through and dealt with it. But the thought of pushing a human being out of my body freaks me out just a bit (by a bit I mean a lot) Especially if it’s a big baby. The thought of an Episiotomy makes me shutter in fear.

Who do I trust my baby to?

This just may be my over protective nature, but it makes me wonder who I can trust my baby to. Now I know that for the first 6 weeks or so I’ll be there to feed the baby to ensure breast feeding develops well, but what about after?


Will I loose who I am?
I know my life will never be the same again, but what about the person I was before I had a baby. Will she still be here or will she be replaced by “one of those” women. Hopefully, it will be a good mix of the two.

Am I being too protective?

I’m a strong believer that being too protective really messes up a child. They learn to be afraid of things and don’t learn to develop a voice to have their opinions heard. Something I am known for…LOL. So where do you draw the line? When coddling becomes counter productive?


What if I do something wrong?

Now this is a loaded gun. So many things a new mother can do wrong. I know its going to be a learning process but I can’t help wondering, what if….
What if I bath the baby wrong and it results in something bad happening?
What if I don’t put enough layers on the baby and it gets sick?
What if I don’t produce enough milk for the baby will it grow properly?
What if
What if
What if…

and the biggest fear of all....
What if I'm no good at this parenting thing?