Saving and Splurging with Baby

Public Service Announcement: Having a baby is expensive. That is all.

I actually think having a baby is like planning a wedding. Once you say it's for a baby, the price jumps. Just like when you say it's for a wedding. Why? because they know you'll spend the money. I mean this is for your unborn child right? why wouldn't you?

I can't imagine how parents who earn a lower income do it. Obviously you'd cut on some things but how about major things you need? Diapers $30/box on sale, Baby monitors $50.00 (low end), Crib $100.00 (low end), Car seat and stroller $300+ the list and price points go on and on. All these things accumulate and the next thing you know you've spent thousands of dollars all before your baby has been born. I was at home organizing Baby's room and I took stock of all the stuff we've gotten and accumulated. Given, I was very spoiled my my friends who were very generous at my baby showers and I got a lot of hand me downs from my sister and her two boys; however, there are lots of things DH and I got on our own; and all this before Baby is even born. So I figured I'd list a few important things to-be moms should consider (in my opinion) spending the denaro on and some things you can cheap out on and maybe the financial hit would hurt so much. Now, remember this is just my opinion; I may just be a paranoid first time mom; I have no science to back this up :)

Splurge:

Breast pump

Reason: You only have one set of boobs and you should do what you can to keep them happy. Breast feeding can be difficult for some, so why add to it with a cheapo pump that doesn't make things easier.

Update your Will

Reason: What happens if you and your partner die. Not a cool thing to think about but something to think about non the less. Who is gonna take care of your baby?

Blood Cord Banking

Reason: There may be family medical issues you may not know about and the advancement of technology is happening so fast that if I can help my child if he/she ever needed medical help for illnesses like certain cancers, I think the yearly banking fee is a small price to pay.

Lotions and creams

Reason: I think there are so many chemicals out there now a days that natural or organic is best. Last thing I want to know is that the cream I used for baby had side effect that was realized years down the road.

Car seat

Reason: Keep your baby safe. Need I say more? A good car seat can protect your baby, isn't that reason enough?

Steals

Clothing

Reason: Baby doesn't care what he/she is wearing. This is purely for the entertainment of the parents. I say have 1-2 nice outfits when Baby has a public appearance and the rest of the time who cares, hand me downs and used clothing from thrift stores do the job. Plus, people love giving clothing as presents so you may not even have a shortage by the time Baby arrives.

Change Table and other furniture.

Reason: After the baby has grown out of the crib (if not convertible) what will you do with it?

And isn't a change table just a dresser with a pad on the top? so Why not use a dresser with a change pad on the top? DH bought me baby furniture as a Christmas gift; he finished the whole nursery as a surprise for me, He bought a change table as-is from a furniture store, a glider off a used website, book shelf from Ikea and we had a hand me down crib from my sister. It all matches and honestly I think we saved a ton of money.

Strollers

Reason: why do you need a $700.00 stroller? why? Honestly, I think function over fashion here. I know some people what the cool sleek looking strollers (DH being one of them) but really? $700.00 for something you baby will grow out of in a few years? Look, I'm not saying get the cheapest one you can find. DH and I spent a whole day looking for a stroller that was right for us, all I'm saying is fashion is not everything. We opted for one that folds and unfolds with one hand, is light enough for me to load up into the car, has no obstructions for Baby and has lots of storage. It may not be the coolest looking, nor is it the most expensive. It's a middle range stroller that will hopefully meet all our needs

There are so many other things for to-be parents to buy but really, if I went through it all this entry would go on forever, and nobody wants to hear my opinions that badly. My main point is this, Baby doesn't care if it's dressed in the latest baby fashions, if it has a pimp stroller or if he/she has a awesome bedroom. He/she cares about having parents that love it and will give them the attention they need and help them grow. All the other stiff is just to make the parents seem cooler in the eyes of everyone else; Keeping up with the Jone's baby style you might say. So if you need to save money, go used or skip the stuff you don't need ans spend on the things you deem as important. Generations have gone without super sophisticated toys or fancy all-terrain strollers and we humans have still turned out alright. I say just figure out whats important to you and go from there. After all, it's your money, spend it as you see fit. I'm just too cheap to pay $40 for a summer dress or a t-shirt for myself , let alone a baby.

Feed Me!

Food has always been my weakness. I love food and I've had to limit myself in what I eat, Gestational Diabetes and all, but recently I've learned that effects my blood sugar and what doesn't, and not a minute too late. I've been having cravings like nobody's business. Maybe it's because I'm off work now and have more time to think about food; or maybe it's the fact that I've been so good with diet throughout this pregnancy. All I know is, I can't get enough of Lay's Kettle Cooked Ketchup chips, strawberries, Korean Bulgogi and Persian Macaroons (lemon or pistachio please).

As I approach D day (due date) I have to wonder if I can keep this healthy eating up? I mean, I have been doing it for the past 6-7 months; and it would be in the best interest for myself and Baby. They say that your baby can taste a bit of the food you've been eating from the amniotic fluid. So if you eat a lot of apples while incubating, you baby will be more likely to like apples later in life. Which has me thinking; will Baby be more partial to veggies? Wouldn't that be something, a kid who you don't have to trick them into eating their veggies? We'll see how that pans out. But if this theory is true, then Baby will like fruits and veggies, spicy food and ketchup chips...Oh, and macaroons; but I think I'll keep those little jewels to myself :)

The Home Stretch

So here I am starting my 35th week. Man, has this ever flown by fast. The other day we installed our rear-facing car seat and reality has really set in that in 3 weeks my body will squeeze out another human being. Seems like only yesterday I peed on a stick and watched 2 little lines appear. I will say this, even though I may complain about some of the discomforts of pregnancy (morning sickness, streatch marks, dumb ass people), I've had it relatively good and all in all have really enjoyed it. To be honest I may even miss being pregnant once Baby is here; I'm sure especially when I'm getting up for nightly feedings and changing dirty diapers. But since I'm up in the middle of the night now a days anyways, I'm guessing it may not be such a big adjustment.

Right now I'm feeling more anxious then I am fear. OK, fear is still there but anxious has added itself to the mix; Maybe it's because three women I know who were due in June have already had their babies, one as much as 6 weeks early. It's really hit home that this could potentially happen at any time. Hopefully Baby will wanna stay put for another 3 weeks or so.

Anyhow, as days pass by it's starting to really sink in. DH and I are having a baby! OMG! my life is about to change forever. I know I know, you're thinking "of course you are how are you just realizing this now?" but to be honest the reality of it all is starting to hit me. I'm off work now and I've been tying up loose ends before Baby's arrival and as my to do list gets shorter I realize I get closer and closer to my delivery date. I know I'll flop back and forth and sometimes thinking I have all the time in the world till one day in the not so near future I'll be on my way to the hospital. Does it make sense that I'm looking forward to that day but also dreading it at the same time?

Keep It To Yourself

OK, so here it is....I'm just gonna come right out and ask. Why do strangers feel the need to come and touch my belly? or unload their stories of child bearing on you? or better yet, tell you what you're having ? OK, not all total stangers, but people I am by no means close to. People like co-workers and clients, ok, and the ramdom slaes girl at the mall. When people see that you are preggo does that give people the green light to invade your personal space and impose thier "knowledge" of pregnancy on you?

Now, I really don't mind when my friends ask to touch my belly when the baby moves, I'm happy that they are happy for me and want to share in my joy or tells me about their expiriances of child birth, since they have had childerne within the last 3-5 years or so. Plus, they are my friends, I actually like them and respect their thoughts and opinions. It's poeple who were last pregnent 30 some-odd years ago or never at all who annoy me. Medical practices have come a long way thank you, and when they give me a shocked look when they find out I've cut out caffeine from my diet or opt not to wear a moo-moo when I'm at home accompanied with the comment "when I was pregnant this is what we did" That irritates me most of all; considering the fact that last time she gave birth was almost 30 years ago.

Take for example the other day, I was at the office going about my business when a co-worker came up to me and started baby talking to my belly. I looked at her like she had 2 heads, "Um...what are you doing?" I had asked. "You know he can hear you when you talk to it" she said; I thought to myself....I know the baby can hear me when I talk to it, but why is my baby hearing you talk to it? and how wonderful of you to automatically assign it a gender without me telling you. You see, I like to separate my work life with my private life as much as possible, so I didn't tell anyone I work with what the gender is or what the name will be. These people don't even make it on my Christmas card list so why would I share this information with them. But back to my point. Completely out of nowhere she gets into my personal space and starts to baby talk to my belly saying what a cute little baby boy my baby is and all that. I'm not talking from a distance. I mean face to belly people!

I have also had clients come into my office and give me thier "thoughts" on my pregnancy. Comments like "I think it's a boy because your belly is low" hmmm....ever think it's because I'm 35 weeks pregnent and ready to give birth in less then a month? Of course not. My favorite reason for why I'm having a boy is because I haven't gained a lot of weight....WTF?! The fact that I've been eating healthier has nothing to do with it I guess. I didn't know there were so many medical experts walking amongst us. The best is when I was shopping with DH and the sales girl asked me when I was due. At the time I said I was 6months along. She gave me this look like "What? really" and then proceeded to ask "are you having twins?" WTF? who says that to someone? What I really wanted to say was "no, I'm just fat and pregnant, whats your excuse?" but I didn't... I just smiled and said no.

Now, I understand this is just people being happy for me, and women (older women) tend share all their opinions with everyone. But really touching me without my consent, judging me for my choices in food and dress, assigning my baby a gender and invading my personal space just rubs me the wrong way at times. Am I being too sensitive and hormonal here or are these people deserving of my signature "WTF" face?

Hi, my name is...

What is in a name?...a lot!

I personally think naming your child is one of the biggest decision facing a soon to be parent. I mean it's for life right?
We was lucky enough to know what we wanted to name our baby. We had these names picked out long before we even conceived, early enough that DH included them in his speech at our wedding, sure there was a bit of going back and forth to make sure it was what we wanted but ultimately we had them picked out early. But it seems we are the lucky few as many parents these days struggle to choose a name for their little bambino. I don't blame them it's no easy decision, there are a lot of factors to consider.

I remember early on in our relationship DH and I had discussed baby names should we ever have children together. His initial picks for girls were totally ridiculous in my mind. Let's just say his picks are commonly found with girls swinging from a pole in a seedy, dark strip club..yeah, no go! So we made a deal; I would come up with names for girls if I would accepted his pick for a boy; which was fine, I could live with his pick for a boy.

Now I've always been a strong believer that people take on certain characteristic dependent on their names. Is it coincidental that almost every Christine I know has similar personality traits? Or that every Joanne I ever known has had smiler temperaments? I think that certain names carry with them certain traits. Say you have hopes for your daughter to be super girlie, sensitive, maybe even docile, you may want a name that represents all that. I wont give my suggestions in case it may start a firestorm of people who have those names who disagree. Which brings me to another point. Keeping your baby name to yourself. Two reasons, so nobody "steals" your baby name and so people can't put their two cents in, after all, despite what I say; it is your decision. But you need to keep this stuff to yourself, all you need is to come up with a name you love and have some a-hole co worker share his or her story of how he or she hates that name because they had a bad experience with a person of the same name. Some people just feel the need to share.

So what if you have negative name association? then what? One jackass could ruin a perfectly good name for you to pick from. Say you absolutely love the name Nicholas, you always wanted to name your son that ever since you were a kid, but then you meet a guy with the same name who was a complete moron and an all around butt head. That person has now ruined that name for you. Every time you call out for your son, you may be reminded of the douche that you knew way back when. Same goes for names of celebrities or quasi-celebrities. Maybe you've always loved the name Clay, but now you associate it with Clay Aiken and you can't stand him....isn't that name now ruined for you? Now given, it could work the opposite way, like if you idealize Marilyn Monroe to the point where you many name your daughter Marilyn, then then in that case, that name association works out well and I hope that you never have a bad experience with someone else of the same name.

Now after looking through some baby names, just for fun, I've also noticed people trying to give their kids names that are spelled in "new" and "alternative" ways. I understand you want your kid to stand out , but if that's the case then pick a different name. If you want to name your kid Jackson or Jennifer, then spell it Jackson and Jennifer, why spell it Jaxson or Jenipher? All you've done is set up your child for a lifetime of correcting people on the spelling of their name, especially if it's a common name. If you want a original name then pick an original name. Pull a Gweneth and name the kid Apple or a Gwen and name the kid Zuma. If you want original then commit to original.

So that's where I stand on names. It's not as easy as one may think, I mean this is the name your child will be known ans associated with for the rest of their lives, unless of course they change it because they hated it so much, but at the same time, why try to complicate things by changing the spelling? If you dream of being avaunt guard and different then pick a name that reflects that. just remember kids can be cruel and adults, well we know they can be cruel, opinionated and just all around judgy. So many factors to consider when naming your offspring. That's why I'm trying to keep ours to ourselves and honestly if anyone gives me any slack for the names well, they can come talk to me directly and I'll give them a piece of my mind....naturally.