Mama Bear

I've realized one of the possible reasons Baby E needs us to rock her to sleep night after night. Mommy needs to rock her to sleep night after night. Dispite the number it's doing on my back, no matter how much sleep I loose and my mounting frustration of her lack of sleep at the end of the day I will admit, I am to blame for Baby E's dependnce on me and DH. Before Baby E was a reality, I had always said I would not be a super protective mother. I wouldn't coddle, I would let them explore and let her be independent. HA! yeah right!. I will say now that I think I am one of the most protective mothers I know. I hate to hear her cry or see her upset and if I had to I would hold her all night and forgo my sanity to make her happy. Now, some of my non-mommy friends may scoff and shake their heads, heck, some of my mommy friends may do the same but I make no apologies.

I think that it's natural for a first time mom to be protective, maybe not as excessive as I am, but hey, if I do something I don't go half ass. I mean you are suddenly responsible for this whole other person. They depend on you for EVERYTHING. You are in charge of keeping them happy, clean, healthy and most of all safe. If they cry you naturally want to comfort them, if they are dirty you naturally want to clean them and if they are happy, you naturally want to keep that smile on their face for as long as possible. Some people may say being too protective is spoiling your child. I tend to disagree. Sure, Baby E may be fine in a loud arena while DH and I take in a Hockey game. She will also be fine putting that toy in her mouth after X amount of kids had played with it before her, but I don't think I will let it happen if I can help it. I say being protective is doing what is natural. Giving all the love that I have, all the attention that I can and all the time I can doesn't mean I'm spoiling my baby. Giving my baby new things every week and giving into tantrums in the Wal-Mart toy section is spoiling them. What I am doing is trying to be a good mom, when the day comes when I don't feel the need to protect my child (be it from germs, excessive noise or other people), that is the day I should rethink being a mom.

My Hairy Situation

So here's something I can add to the "$hit they don't tell you about pregnancy" list. Hair loss!

Sure, when you are preggo your hair is nice, smooth, shiny and healthy; but after it. all. falls. out!

No joke after I wash my hair I look down and there is a Wookie sitting on top of my drain! It really is gross. I will run my hand threw my hair and a chunk of hair will be entangled between my fingers. I sweep and Biselle all the time since there is more of my hair on the floor then there is cat hair. It gets everywhere, even on Baby E.

So I have decided to do it. I am gonna get a mommy hair cut. No, this is not a day where mommy will take time for herself and get a nice day at the salon. I'm talking about chopping it all off, short! (insert panic attack) don't get me wrong, I've had short hair before. Mostly bobs and shoulder length, but what I'm talking about here goes a bit shorter. Ever since High school the shortest my hair has ever been was just below my ears. Right now it's to the middle of my back. I need something that Baby E can't grab onto and pull, something that wont cause my drain to plug up and most importantly, something that is easy to maintain and takes little to no time to style, buzz cut anyone? (joke)

So now I have to find a style that will suit me. Not an easy task since super short styles don't often suit big round faces...I've never cried at at hair cut before, but this time I just may

Nightly Sleep Dance

Wow, really? has it been THAT long since I've written an entry? It seems so. But believe me there has been no shortage of material. In the past month Baby E has learned to do a lot. The most notable is she has learned to use her voice. We are not talking coos and hums. We are talking about screams and yelling. To be honest it was a really cute in the beginning but became less cute as it started to effect her sleep. The week before, DH and I tried something new, we would rock Baby E till she was drowsy and then placed her in her crib. After a minute or 2 of whimpering she would turn around, pop her thumb in her mouth and off to sleep she went.(we have since been reluctant of sleep training since our experience last month). It was great! naps went from 45 min to 1 1/2 hours, she slept well through the night (still 1 or 2 feedings) and she seems to be a happy, well rested little baby. Then the screaming and yelling happened. It seemed that Baby E was much more interested in listening to her own voice then to sleep (yay, how fun for me). so I'd rock her and bounce her; she would let out a happy yell and scream; I'd continue to rock her and bounce her... eventually this resulted in me rocking and bouncing for 30-45 min (insane I know).

At the end of it all Baby E wouldn't sleep, not for long anyway. She would wake up crying if I put her down and DH and I found ourselves back where we were about a month ago. With a baby who wanted to be held all the time, despite her ability to self soothe herself to sleep on her own. It got to a point where if she did sleep it was only for 1-2 hours, then she would wake up wanting to play and stay up for 3 hours! WTF? all the books I read say babies at her age are only supposed to stay up for 1-2 hours...yeah, right! Tell me that at 1am when I've been bouncing my baby for 45 min! I think one of the most frustrating things for a new mom is when you know your baby is exhausted, you are doing everything you can to help them sleep and they just can't (or wont). But frustration aside, I have to remember that this little person is new and has yet to developed the skills needed to manage day to day, it's just a phase and it will eventually pass (I can type this now because its not 1am and I'm not bouncing and rocking her).

Anyway, with this new discovery, DH and I have had little sleep...but at least my little girl has discovered her voice, and isn't afraid to use it; which may be bad for us when she reaches 4 years old. No quite little girl for us!